Tuesday, August 5, 2014

What I Want to Do

"What are you doing for your birthday?"

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it will be what I want to do. "

That is the standard question asked by friends and family and my standard reply regarding my upcoming birthday. 

I am not doing like most, by declaring my birthday a national holiday.  Quite honestly, August 20th is insignificant to everyone but me.  It is significant to me, because it is a type of independence day.  

My mother told me that my 40s would be the best times of my life and so far she has been accurate.  My 40s started off rocky, but they have been steadily improving.  There have not been many major events or noteworthy accomplishments.  Two things: 1) My one and only son graduated high school.  I am so proud I feel I could burst at times other.  2) The transforming of my mind.  I know who I am, and I know what I am worth. I don't feel as if "you can't tell me nothing".  I feel as if I just already know.  (Track me) 

My life has been one of service and will continue to be.  However you can serve and not be subservient.  I have served those over me without murmur and those under me faithfully. I have served in the typical and not so typical sense. 

I have served my leaders by being excellent in all things.  I have served my son by being the best mother I could be at the time, and in spite of all things.  I have served the members of my congregation by being there when they needed me.  I have also served  by dumbing down,  acting naive, acting "blonde", capping my potential, masking my talent, and suffocating my gifts, in the presence of those who felt "some type of way"  when I was around.   I have served well. 

This is not a "the tables have turned"  type of piece, because I do not operate that way.  However my service will from now on remain positive for the people I Serve as well as myself. I had given and given until I had nothing left.  I count my service as investments.  I do not expect a return from people, but from life, which is what I choose to live and no longer just exist. 

Whether it is reading a book, going out to dinner, shopping, or traveling, whatever I do on my birthday, it will be what I want to do. 

Thanks Mama for the tip.  You were oh so right. 

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